Your own worst enemy.

Getting in your own way is something we all do in a variety of occasions. Sometimes we might not realize we’re doing just that. It can take a lot of face plants to unlearn bad habits and personality traits that make us end up with eggs on our faces time and time again. Why is it that some of us take so long to learn from our mistakes? Why does it seem like we never learn our lessons?

Negative interactions from our childhoods can leave us scarred and unprepared to deal with all the different personality types in this world. Mix that with remnants of toxic romantic relationships, and you end up with a recipe for emotional disaster. These circumstances lead to sabotaging friendships with stubbornness and lack of trust. We put our guards up with defensiveness and confrontation. Along the way, people are left feeling resentful and unworthy. The ability to self-reflect is a major key to combating the cycle of failed friendships. No one likes to feel alone, but it takes work to recognize our shortcomings.

To be able to fix something, you have to figure out what’s broken. It may not be easy to find, and by the time you realize what it is, you may have ruined plenty of relationships. Luckily there’s a thing called forgiveness. You’d be surprised how forgiving people are. There is great power in acknowledging how you hurt someone and recognizing their pain. A simple “I am sorry I did or said that. I know I hurt you,” can change the dynamic of a pair immensely. Hopefully, the person on the receiving end can accept it and put a stop to any communication block that has built up in time. The relationship may never be the same, but at least both parties can let go of negative feelings and move on. They may even be able to build a new relationship.

Carrying negative emotional baggage takes a toll on you mentally and physically. Feelings of resentment and anger don’t go away easily, especially when you choose to hold a grudge. You don’t want to end up being a damaged person that no one can get close to. Focus on getting to a place where you can connect with someone on a personal level once again.